Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 19, 2012 2:20:59 GMT -5
REMUS JOHN LUPIN
[/b][/color][/font]we'll find it someday, a way back home
and love will reclaim what shadows stole
[/center]- - - - -
the▪B A S I C S
i'm a ravenclaw, i like to read books
when i cast spells, they're off the frickin' hook
i'm a ravenclaw, i like to read books
when i cast spells, they're off the frickin' hook
Full Name: Remus John Lupin
Nicknames: Moony
Gender: Male
Birthdate/Age: 10th March, 1960 - Age 37
Blood Status: Halfblood/Werewolf
Sexuality: Heterosexual.
Wand: 14 inches; pliable; willow; unicorn hair.
Pet: N/A
House: Gryffindor Alumni
Occupation: Member of the Order of the Phoenix. Former Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.
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the▪A P P E A R A N C E
[/color][/center]i'm a gryffindor, i'll fly with my friends
We'll never back down, and fight to the end
We'll never back down, and fight to the end
Playby: David Thewlis
Hair: Remus' hair is naturally thick, though it's thinned a fair bit over the past couple of years. It is a sandy blonde-brown in colouration, darkening to a light brown in the colder months and, obviously, to a lighter colour closer to blonde with the warmer months, depending on the amount of time he spends outside during aforementioned months. One will also find varying shades of grey flecked amidst the sandy blonde-brown, though these days, the presence of aforementioned grey hairs is verging more and more towards 'streaked' as opposed to 'flecked'.
If left to grow long, Remus' hair would and does take on a rather shaggy appearance. However, unless he's particularly distracted or in an absent-minded mood (or just plain can't get to a pair of scissors and a decent haircutter), Remus' hair is cut fairly short, cropped to just over the top of his collar. He sports a surprisingly long fringe that he usually tries to keep neatly combed back to one side, though with very little success, as the slightest movement will unsettle it and have it drifting over his ears and forehead. When it does drift forward, it tends to favour the right side of his forehead, most likely due to a fairly prominent cowlick resting slightly left of centre on his head, and is long enough to fall over his eyes given the chance. In fact, given half a chance, Remus seems to prefer hiding behind it in a situation where he might be left feeling shy or uncomfortable, though on the other side of the coin, it seems to be a part of his charm when he smiles, as bashful or not, peering out from under his hair lends a quality both alluring and adorably boyish to his appearance, often to devestating effect. Whether he's aware of it or not (
In his wolf form, Remus' fur tends to verge largely towards his natural hair colour as a human wizard - a sort of sandy brown-grey, with flecks of lighter blonde at various points on his body...not that you'd actually get close enough to see them, obviously.
Eyes: They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and in Remus' case, it's certainly not a cliche. If one knows what to look for, they will find that even when he attempts to shutter his feelings, there is always, always the briefest glimmer of feeling in them, be it heated or cold. Mostly though, Remus' eyes are framed by surprisingly long, dark blonde lashes, and are a hazel-ish blue-grey in colour, flecked with hints of brown and amber, though they may appear more blue or grey (or, very rarely, the flecks of brown and amber might grow brighter) depending on his mood. Now and again too, one might also see a slightly haunted look to them, a sort of wistful sadness tinged with loneliness, brought on by the grief he has suffered over the years from both his losses and his taint.
Height/Weight:
Height: 6'2"/187cm
Weight: 77kg/169lbs
Distinguishing Marks: It's said that the wounds inflicted by a werewolf never fully heal, and thus, Remus' body, his torso in particular, is fairly peppered with the scars of his days when he was confined as a werewolf and could only hurt himself. Some are silver-grey and thinned with the passage of many passing years, some are newer, redder, angry and puckered lines. The largest he carries to date is the one that starts under the right wing of his collarbone, cutting a line down his torso to wing out over the right side of his sternum, though of course, like most of his scars, it is kept hidden beneath his robes. His only visible scarring on most occasions - lest he is feeling very relaxed in company - are those found littering his large hands in little pits, and of course, those that cut thin lines over nose and chin.
These days, he sports a slightly scruffy beard over his chin and upper lip. His bite mark, inflicted by Greyback's fangs all those years ago, is too, clearly a distinguishing mark, though as it is located around the region of his left knee and calf, it is usually hidden by clothing. However, it is a large part of the reason behind the limp he gains closer to the full moon, and as such, is also the reason why he needs to use a cane during particularly bad days to compensate for what he jokingly refers to as his 'trick knee'.
Build: Remus would, in company, jokingly refer to his build as the perfect scholar's build - lean and rangy and more gawky than muscular. What he won't tell you is that the reason behind his leanness, which seems constant even when he has a few of Molly Weasley's square meals in him, is due to the fact that due to the transformation he undergoes every month, even under Wolfsbane, his body is forced to chew up every ounce of energy it can possibly find. Hence, no spare body fat. He's not completely devoid of muscle tone, though; in fact, when he's not going hungry, he's surprisingly wiry in musculature - lean but ropey, and far stronger than he looks. He has to be, anyway, to survive the transformations month after month.
Style: As a man used to living a frugal existence, Remus has very little in the way of clothes. What he does have, save whatever jumpers Molly has knitted for him, is usually patched and a trifle ragged, and he seems to prefer darker colours and anything that is, in the least, comfortable and warm. However, for all that his poverty prevents him from having any true preference in clothing, Remus is not without his style. It's just a style not so much based on his clothing, but how he wears it and moves in it...with a quiet, underestated elegance.
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the▪P E R S O N A L I T Y
[/color][/center]i'm a slytherin, the house of the snake
Come get in my way, and get tossed in the lake
Come get in my way, and get tossed in the lake
Likes:
- Being Liked: Remus has faced an enormous amount of prejudice in his life, all of it ranging from mild suspicion of him to outright disgust and loathing. As such, the idea of people actually, genuinely liking him purely for him, and not some other motive, is something that both boggles his mind and, when it actually happens, gives him no small amount of delight. It makes him an extremely steadfast friend, however, it also means that he's prone to cutting the people he cares for who like him back an awful amount of slack, even when they're doing the wrong thing.
- Nymphadora Tonks: Like doesn't even come close. And he wishes he could hate her, he really does. But he can't. You can't hate someone that you love as deeply as he loves Nymphadora Tonks. And he does love her, desperately so, and the idea of her not only loving him back, but actually imagining a life together, is beyond a dream come true for a man who's spent his life resigned to the lonely fate of a Dark Creature. Let alone one reduced to living with the ferals in the wake of the war. But that's exactly what it has to remain, a dream. Deep down, he knows she's strong enough to handle his lycanthropy and his situation in life, but years of conditioning, of locking himself away, means he can't face the idea of tainting her with his own curse. You don't do that to people you love. And he loves her. He loves her so much that it hurts.
- Chocolate: Beautiful chocolate. Beautiful elixir of life. Who needs the world when you have chocolate? Beautiful, warming, diverse chocolate. Fixes everything, chocolate does, from Dementor attacks to attacks of the fiercesome PMS. And Padfoot will have told you that stealing Remus' chocolate is like dealing with a PMSing woman, too; he gets quite upset if you take it without him offering it to you, and will grow very annoyed very quickly if he doesn't have any at least once a week. Doesn't matter what chocolate it is, whether it's dark or white or rich or milky or liquid, so long as it's not nasty and cheap.
- Tea: Ah, the other elixir of life, second only to chocolate. Tea is good; it's great for waking one's self up without the mad addiction coffee breeds, is excellent for distracting one's self in any given situation, great for breaking the ice in a meeting, and if it's made right, the smell is pleasant without being too pungent and thus, unpleasant for him. Most days, Remus prefers Earl Grey on it's own. He might occasionally have sugar with it, but only a teaspoon, and honey and lemon is good for him after a full moon. Otherwise, you'll likely find him staring at you rather like you're utterly boggling his mind if he catches you
destroyingplying your own cup with too much sugar. - Children: He's a sucker for them. Especially younger kids. The littler they are, the worse off it is for him, because he absolutely cannot resist them when they're going about melting his heart like it's nobody's business. Especially babies; he'll go absolutely squishy and gaga over them...in a refined, manly manner, of course. It ties into his love of teaching, too, with some of the best months of his life being those he spent as a Professor at Hogwarts. He does his best not to indulge them, though he is prone to a rather instinctual protectiveness towards his charges, or any kid really, perhaps due to the fact that he knows what it is to have one's innocence taken too young, and would wish such a thing on no one.
- Dark Creatures: No, not in that way. He's simply fascinated by them, in the same way a marine biologist is fascinated by marine life, and while he has little love for his own particular species of Dark Creature, he finds the less sentient ones, whether they be Grindylows or Red Caps or Kelpies, utterly curious and enthralling. If he'd had his way, he'd have likely kept a Grindylow or something as a small child. Fortunately, his parents never agreed to such a thing, so he had to content himself with studying them and later, teaching his students about them during his tenure as Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.
- Teaching Others: Remus' patient, intent nature and his ability to engage another in his favorite subjects by his own passion for them alone makes him nothing if not an excellent teacher, and he's often claimed as the best DADA teacher ever seen at Hogwarts by his former students. It's not just that, though - Remus genuinely enjoys teaching others things, without any condescencion or complaint, and can spend hours doing so, even if it's just sitting quietly on the couch with one other person and discussing a topic.
- Astronomy: Ironic. Yes, he knows that. But even despite his negative association with that celestial body called the moon, Remus still enjoys astronomy as a whole. He's a night owl, you see, so it all works out. It's just one of those things he enjoys, and has done so from his childhood days spent with his father - gazing up at starry skies. Particularly starry skies on the night of a new moon. All of it, whether he's picking out constellations or simply staring up at the sky, is something he can do for hours. There's something indefinable about it all, something utterly lonely and mysterious about the night sky, and he's fascinated by it.
- Reading: Well obviously. He's a complete nerd, after all, being the bookish, scholarly Professor type, and even he freely admits that. And woe betide you if you're the poor sot who tries to get his nose out of a book once he's engrossed; if you actually manage to get his attention for longer than three point seven seconds (yes, Padfoot did count it out once when Prongs tried), he's liable to throw at you whatever he has on hand. Provided it's not the book. Books are very precious, after all.
- Laughter: Considering he doesn't do it nearly often enough himself, Remus puts a great amount of store in the sound of laughter, and making others laugh. There is nothing that gives him more gratification than making a person laugh, be it a reluctant chuckle or a gut-busting, genuine case of the giggles. Ironically, though perhaps not shockingly, it was in fact Nymphadora's laughter, of all the things about her, that he was first smitten with.
- Latin: Surprisingly, or perhaps not so, considering his disposition, Remus enjoys hearing different languages. However, Latin in particular is his favorite, and he's surprisingly fluent in it, with no small thanks given to a mother who was not only a Latin tutor, but also shared a love for the language and for irony. Irony being, of course, the link between the language itself, it's associations with Ancient Rome, and of course, the name she gifted her son with: Remus.
- A good prank: Remus was a Marauder for a reason. He has an excellent sense of humour, if an astonishing wicked-playful streak to go with it, and thus, he enjoys nothing better than a good prank. Of course, these days, he's more likely to watch one unfold rather than be the mastermind behind it, though he spent many hours of amusement in Grimmauld Place both circumventing any pranks the Weasley Twins attempted to play on him, and perhaps even more hilariously, pointing out what to do and where they might have gone wrong. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder.
- The Ocean: Remus grew up in Holyhead, and thus, he was but a ten minute walk from the ocean as a child. Even now, the smells associated with it remind him fondly of his home and, despite his curse, the happier memories associated with his childhood and his parents. He doesn't go in much these days, but Merlin wish you good luck at trying to drag him out of the surf once he's actually in it.
- Swimming: Tying in with his fondness for the ocean, Remus enjoys a good swim, even if it's just floating idly on top of the water. These days, he obviously does it but rarely, though when he does, he enjoys it particularly for the sense of weightlessness it provides...a boon for anyone with aching joints and bones.
- Walking: Even when he's reduced to using his cane, Remus enjoys a good walk. He simply enjoys getting outside, even if it's just to amble around The Burrow's garden or some such. It's a good time to think, and sort your thoughts, and he grows downright restless if he can't go for a bit of an amble at least once a day.
- Trees: He's enjoyed them ever since he was a boy. He finds them calming, in a way, with the way the leaves might wave and rustle in the breeze. He enjoys the smells found around them, too, especially trees found near a body of water, and he feels too, in a way, that trees are perhaps the best representation one might get of time passing in eons and the changing of the seasons. And while he's far too old to really enjoy such childish pursuits like those found around a good-sized tree, he's still prone to indulging in them, be it simply sitting under the tree with a good book, or on rarer occasions, climbing the tree itself.
- Jazz Music: No, he's not a fuddy-duddy for liking jazz; he just has taste when it comes to music, thank you very much. And in all honesty, even if he hadn't grown up with it, he'd probably still like jazz, purely because it's quieter and far more suited to a calm, bookish Professor. Unless it's boppy jazz...and then he might get up and dance a bit to it, given the right provocation. He's also well aware that a lot of it has a romantic base, so you might as well paste a loveheart to his back and ridicule him for being a romantic at heart - he won't care. In regards to who he actually prefers in the world of jazz, well...he's pretty ecclectic, but if he had to pick, it'd be ladies like Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday, and gentlemen like Nat King Cole and Jamie Callum. Ironically, his favorite song is labelled Blue Moon, by Ella Fitzgerald.
- Steak: This might be the only thing about his lycanthropy he actually doesn't mind. Remus loves his meat, and will tuck into it with gusto if it's placed in front of him. He often jokingly makes light of his carnivorous tendencies, though just about any type of cooked meat, particularly rare steak, will set his mouth watering almost immediately.
Dislikes:
- The Full Moon: It's hardly a surprise that this is first on his list of dislikes. It's sad, in a way, considering he loves astronomy, but it's the way it is. The full moon is everything associated with what is bad in his world, what consumes his life. Every transformation, every agonising moment where he is forced to lose his humanity to the wolf, every prejudice and hurt and heartache, even the way his moods are affected, he associates with the full moon.
- Transforming: It's second only to his loathing for the moon, if not eclipsing it, depending on how he fares with any particular transformation. Some are worse than others, though when he's on Wolfsbane, the agony is significantly lessened. But it's all still there - the trauma of bones lengthening, of skin ripping, of scars found the next morning and nightmares clouded with bloodlust. It's the reason why he has the injuries he does, of why he's so afraid of losing his self-control.
- Conflict: Remus cannot stand conflict. It ties into his desire to be liked, as well as the weariness he already deals with regarding the internal conflict his body faces constantly. He can diffuse a tension between others fairly well these days, though he'd much prefer to stick his nose in a book to avoid being pulled into an arguement. But when it's emotional conflict, and it's directed at him? He hates it. He hates being being thrown into the fire, so to speak, and if it gets too hot for him, he's very likely to shut off. Literally, he will shut down, and though he's less likely to flee the situation these days, he'll become about as responsive as stone until he's left alone. Scratch that...stone would probably be more responsive, if it gets to that point.
- Seeing Others Suffer: Perhaps it's his own understanding of what it is to suffer, or maybe it's simply because he is naturally a gentle, kind-hearted man. Either way, Remus cannot stand seeing people suffer needlessly, especially those he loves, and it is a large motivator behind why he fights in the war against Voldemort. Ironically, it's exactly what he's causing Nymphadora right now by pushing her away, and he hates himself for it even as he convinces himself it's for the best.
- Fenrir Greyback: If Remus actually has an active hatred for anyone, it is this man. He's not even a man, really. No, he's not a man at all; he's a beast, and he's the reason behind Remus' own bite and those of countless other helpless, defenceless children. Not only that, but he is everything Remus fears becoming, even as he himself could never fathom the depths of cruelty and depravity in which Greyback can sink to. In a way, though, he's also scared of him - the old fear of the werewolf that attacked him as a small child mingled with the new fear of what Greyback could do, not so much to him, but to those he loves, should Greyback find out who they are.
- Dolores Umbridge: He tries not to hate her, but he certainly has a strong dislike for the toadish woman. Obviously, she's the reason behind the legislation which keeps him in poverty and makes him virtually unemployable. He also dislikes her for the ways in which she made his former students, particularly Harry, suffer, last year. Yet in a way, he also pities her, as he can only ponder on what a life it must be for a person who is so utterly deluded and entirely fearful of what is different.
- Disloyalty/Betrayal: Remus is naturally a fiercely loyal person; he was a Gryffindor for a reason, and his years spent in aforementioned House only strengthened his sense of fidelity towards those who gain his loyalties. The idea of betrayal in any form is something he can barely abide, and is perhaps one of the only things he lacks any empathy for whatsoever. It's also the best way to throw a quick, painful blow at him emotionally, whether it is a betrayal directly acted out against him, or, Merlin forbid, something he himself has done (such as when he lied to Dumbledore about knowing of Sirius' Animagus abilities after his escape from Azkaban).
- Charity: Call it pigheaded Gryffindor pride, or just the pride of a typical man, but Remus can't abide charity in any way, shape or form. It doesn't matter how poorly he might be; he won't accept any assistance. The trick, in this case, is making it seem as though he's helping you out (bit double-edged, isn't it) by accepting something, be it food or a hand-knitted jumper. Or even, perhaps, love. Though that's less convincing him that he's helping you as opposed to convincing him that you don't just pity him for his loneliness.
- Prejudice: Remus has had to face a world that is extremely judgemental, harsh and unforgiving for what it fears and doesn't understand, and he's had to do so from a very young age. As such, he can't abide prejudice of any kind even as he takes prejudice directed at himself on the chin and with as a good a sense of humour as he can manage.
- Being Alone: This is perhaps one of the most ironic things about the man. He hates being alone, even as he's resigned himself to it. The long years he spent alone after he lost all of his friends were some of the worst of his life. Loneliness, being alone, is a marker of all the vices and weaknesses he carried during those long, melancholic years. It's a terrible, all-consuming feeling, like a sickness. If he broods on it long enough, it both scares and angers him with the frustration and helplessness of the situation. And yet on the other side of the coin, he won't accept the chance to not be all alone when it's given to him. Not right now, and for the moment, it seems not ever.
- Potions: Gah. Potions. The one subject he utterly, completely abhorred during his school years. It's not that he couldn't do it; he just wasn't very good at it. And for a boy who prided himself on his intelligence if nothing else, it was a blow to the ego. Thus, a strong dislike for the subject was inevitable, and has carried on through the years. It doesn't help that what he requires to fight his lycanthropy is a potion, either.
- Silver: Considering it kind of, ah, burns him, if not kills him...well, yes. As a werewolf, he feels this is fairly self-explanatory, and would thank you kindly not to come after him with a silver spoon or whatever crosses your fancy. It's much less painful if you just tell him to go away, if you don't want him there.
- Wolfsbane Potion: Yes, it helps. It helps a lot. And it's being refined more and more over time. He's eternally grateful for it, when he can get it, because he's never more scared or hateful than when he's losing his mind to the wolf. However, the fact remains...it smells disgusting. It tastes disgusting. It looks disgusting. Even the name is a bit foreboding.
- Pungent or Strong Smells: Though it's still nowhere near the level of a canine or a lupine's sense of smell, Remus' nose is still quite acute, and definitely a couple of shades more than the average wizard. As such, he can't stand anything that gets on the nose, so to speak, be it lingering odours or strong perfumes or anything like it. He doesn't mind softer smells, and in fact rather enjoys them, but anything too strong and he'll as good as hightail it in the other direction, or at least to the other side of the room. Like most things, though, he tries to make light of it, claiming that if anyone wanted to get rid of him, all they'd have to do is tie crushed garlic cloves and empty a bottle of Gilderoy Lockhart's Love Potion No. 9 Cologne on themselves, and he'd be gone quicker than greased lightning. Or, literally, like a wolf fleeing a hunter. A very smelly hunter.
- Grasshoppers/Crickets: Don't laugh. Seriously, don't. The little blighters are freaky, and he hates them. Doesn't mind the sounds they make at dusk, so long as they stay far away. Other than that, he hates the little critters, and is liable to jump a mile in the air if they jump at him, in the same way an arachnophobic might flee a spider scuttling towards them.
- Things Left Untidy: Literally, it drives him mental. He doesn't mind if something is left lying around for a little while, but after a certain period of time has elapsed, he has an almost obsessive-compulsive need to clean it up. Everything's got a place for a reason, ladies and gentleman. And his own bookshelf and study? Well, that doesn't count...he knows where everything is. Therefore, everything is perfectly in order.
- Loud Sounds: This sort of ties in with his sense of smell. His nose is certainly his most developed sense, but his hearing is a mite sensitive as well. Thus, he heartily dislikes loud sounds, and they're a surefire way to have him leaping a mile or two into the air with their suddenness. It doesn't help that he's naturally a quiet, gentle man anyway, so like it or not, he doesn't do well with sudden, loud noises.
- Himself: Though Remus is and displays a great deal of bravery on many occasions, if not over the course of his entire life, he seems to nurse deep-seated feelings of shame and rejection (the latter no doubt stemming from the prejudice he has suffered since childhood). It is because of this that he backs down where he knows he probably shouldn't, and as a result, he believes himself to be cowardly and often unworthy of kindness even as he craves it. He is also highly attuned to when he might be causing others pain, though in the case of allowing people to be intimate and close to him, he feels it is for the best even as he subconsciously despises himself for causing them hurt. Most of all, he despises the curse he is inflicted with, or rather, the monstrosity that dwells inside him as a result. On darker days, he will consider himself nothing if not an outright monster, unworthy of anyone's time or affection - something that has gotten steadily worse in the time since he undertook the mission to infiltrate the werewolves, which has brought him evidently closer to what he fears (if not the worst traits of his own kind) and despises, and further away from those who would give him a sense of self-worth and warmth.
Strengths:
- Defence Against the Dark Arts: In 1993, Remus took the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts, and was considered to be the best in this position by many of his students. Due to his own fascination and research on them, his particular speciality in Defence is, ironically enough, against Dark Creatures. However, this is based on what he taught the third year students and does not reflect the full range of his knowledge and expertise. He also taught Harry the highly advanced Patronus Charm which Remus himself appears have mastered at a relatively young age, or at least at some point during the First Wizarding War.
- Non-verbal and Wandless Magic: While on the Hogwarts Express in 1993, Remus conjured Bluebell Flames without using a wand or his voice. He could also open locks and chests and relight candles with just the wave of his hand. Both wandless and non-verbal magic are very difficult, indicating Remus' magical power and skill.
- Duelling: Remus is a highly talented duellist, basing a great deal of his prowess on his intelligence and ability to react quickly. During the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, he was the only fighter besides Albus Dumbledore and Harry who was not wounded, killed, or incapacitated and defeated the then-leader of the Death Eaters, Lucius Malfoy, binding him with the help of Dumbledore along with the other Death Eaters who did not escape. The fact that he also survived the First Wizarding War also speaks for itself, though like everyone else, he is far from infallible.
- Charms: Remus appears to have been very talented with Charms from a young age, since he, James, Sirius and Peter worked together to create the highly complex Marauder's Map during their school years.
- Transfiguration: Transfiguration was, after Defence Against the Dark Arts, the subject that Remus both enjoyed and excelled in. Along with Sirius, he was able to use magic to force Peter Pettigrew to change into a human from his Animagus form as a rat in the Shrieking Shack. Because of his fondness for this particular branch of magic, he is on very good terms with his old teacher, Professor Mcgonnagal, and counts her as one of his most trustworthy friends, perhaps even regarding her as a mentor of sorts in the same way he views Dumbledore.
Weaknesses:
- His desire to be liked: While it adds to his kind, obliging nature, Remus' fear of rejection and his deep need to be accepted means that he often cuts people a lot of slack, letting them get away with things they probably shouldn't be allowed to get away with. It's been his downfall since his younger days, and was his one failure as a Prefect; he was often unable to rein his friends in when they grew obnoxious or bullied others, purely because he didn't want to deal with the conflict that might arise, and the possibility of them ostracising him, too.
- Potions: He dislikes it for a reason, and that reason, like for any intelligent human, is the fact that he's not very good at it. He's not the worst in the world at it, but he's certainly not good at it either, and you're more likely asking for your death wish if you suddenly required him to make something that would save your life.
- His self-esteem: His self-worth has taken a terrible beating over the years, and the loss of those who made him feel as if he was worthy of something in the world in his youth have made the blow that much deeper and harder to heal. To this day, Remus still suffers badly from his own lack of self-esteem, especially as a person. Combined with a tendency to be overly cautious emotionally, and a very bad habit in regards to brooding, and you have a rather toxic tendency towards depriving himself of people that do love him, and situations that could in fact be very good for him.
- Avoidance of conflict: As aforementioned, Remus cannot stand conflict. He can diffuse a tension between others fairly well these days, though he'd much prefer to stick his nose in a book to avoid being pulled into an arguement. But when it's emotional conflict, and it's directed at him? He hates it. He hates being being thrown into the fire, so to speak, and if it gets too hot for him, he's very likely to shut off. Literally, he will shut down, and though he's less likely to flee the situation these days, he'll become about as responsive as stone until he's left alone. Scratch that...stone would probably be more responsive, if it gets to that point.
- Lycanthropy: While there are some tiny perks, such as better instincts, lycanthropy is called a curse for a reason. It is the reason behind the prejudice Remus has suffered and his lack of self-worth as a result, and physically, drains him at certain times of the month so completely that he can barely muster the energy to shuffle to the kitchen to get food, let alone attempt anything strenuous lest he is lying down, if that's even possible without it being an oxymoron.
Best Memory: Sirius would like to tell you that it was the first day Remus was graced with his and James' presence. Remus would disagree, stating dryly that one does not feel particularly warm and fuzzy when forced to revisit the memory of their self-conscious eleven year old self being told to 'budge over, scrawny; I need to put my bag somewhere' on the Hogwarts Express.
Remus best memory does pertain to the Marauders, though. All three of them, even Peter, despite the anguish and hate his ex-friend, feature in this particular memory, that being the day he discovered that Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail had, despite the odds, made themselves Animagi so they could be with him on full moons. Done it, for him, so he wouldn't be alone. It was the first time in his whole life up to that point that Remus actually felt he was worthwhile, someone to love and appreciate and look out for despite his curse. The first time in his life up to that point that he wasn't plagued by that deep-seated sense of loneliness and rejection, and didn't have to hide away to protect himself from prejudice.
Mirror of Erised: It used to be an image of Remus himself sitting against a tree under a star-filled, moonless sky, completely free of his scars and thus, the taint of his lycanthropy. It hasn't changed much in that sense these days - rather, the image the Mirror would project has been added to. These days, he's still sitting against a tree under a star-filled sky, but rather than sitting alone, he'd find Nymphadora beside him. Not doing anything in particular...not even snogging, really. Just sitting there, curled up rather adorably beside her, head on her shoulder. Free to do as he pleases. Free of prejudice and grief. Free to act as he desires to. Free of the lycanthropy.
Patronus: Remus' Patronus is, in corporeal form, an Owl. It fits well with his calm, intelligent personality and his preference for the quiet and nighttime, as well as playing on his two most contradictory yet complementary traits; his shyness (in the way that the owl will hide behind it's wings or in the deep hollows of a tree to escape the sunlight and attention) and his sense of loyalty and protectiveness (in the same way that an owl will defend fiercely it's territory and it's family, despite it's shyer disposition).
Boggart: Remus' boggart is the full moon, reflective both of the fear associated with his transformation and the agony of losing his mind to the bloodlust of the wolf, and his utter terror at the idea of transforming near humans and hurting them, particularly people he loves.
Dementor: Predictably, it's a hard battle between when he was bitten as a little boy, when he first transformed, and the night he lost three of his best friends. If he had to pick, though, then the most prominent memory would be the night he lost his best friends, as it's the most vivid. The other two are more or less impressions due to his very young age on both occasions, more dreams than actual, intense memories, though no less in the flashes of pain and nightmarish horror inflicted.
Veritaserum: That, on occasion, he does have moments where he fears he might succumb to the desires of the wolf, and thus, become everything that he fears. In essence, he fears becoming Greyback even as he ponders in weaker moments those very rare moments where he was free to run under the moon and do as he pleased. When the moon waxes (thus, when he is both weary and irritatingly alert, no thanks to the wolf in him), the desires are that much stronger, even if he tries his hardest to control them.
Personality: When it comes to Remus, he is a man that is absolutely impossible to fathom in some regards. It's not that he's particularly mysterious or any such thing, it's just...boggling, one might say, that he's come out the way he has. Most men (and women) would become embittered, cruel, ostracized, even suicidal if faced with the grief and prejudice Remus has been forced to face over his thirty-two or so years as a lycanthrope, and understandably so. And yet despite it all, Remus has managed to survive. Not without his emotional and mental scars, of course not, but even despite these, he's still managed to come out as...well, a good man. A fundamentally good, kind man with far more empathy towards the world than it deserves, considering the way it's treated him.
Despite the grief and prejudice he has suffered since childhood, Remus has managed to retain all the very best traits a gentleman could likely have. He is a man you would want championing your cause, as despite his own lack of a self-esteem, he does his best, if not always succeeds, to see the good in everyone and every situation, or in the least, he attempts to understand them and provide a logical explanation for the way a person might act. He is fair-minded in this respect, and astonishingly tolerant for the most part, displaying a certain patience for the machinations of others, particularly those younger than him.
Of course, such a forgiving nature could be, and likely is, tied to what is perhaps one of his greater flaws emotionally. And that is that Remus is a man who likes to be liked. It's understandable, given people's usual reaction to him if they find out he's a werewolf, that the idea of people actually wanting to be around him, let alone love him without condition and for who he is, is something that both confuses him and delights him. He's almost like the little boy he once was, in this way, shy and a little uncertain, but eager to make friends and be valued in some way or form for the sake of his self-esteem. Thus, when he discovers that people actually do genuinely like him, he'll do just about anything they ask of him. Unfortunately, he's also prone to cutting them an awful lot of slack when they might not deserve it, or might need to be reined in. This was something that was most prominent during his school years, as while his own morals prevented him from joining in on the bullying his friends often indulged in, he never really did anything to stop it for fear of offending the others and thus, alienating them.
The above mentioned flaw also ties into his fear of rejection and conflict. It's a complicated thing to deal with, really; he has a bad habit of pushing people away out of fear of them abandoning him when they realise what association with him could mean for them. Which means that technically, he is rejecting them in his own right, despite his own fear of being alone and unwanted. As for conflict, well...that's a whole other kettle of fish. It's not that he can't deal with it; in fact, when it comes to diffusing a situation amongst others, Remus is quite good at doing so, doing his best to never take sides and always doing his utmost to remain calm. However, if the conflict directly involves an attack on him, he'll shut down. Literally, there is no other word for it; he'll become as quiet as tomb, and the shutters will slam shut in his eyes. At best, if he's made to talk, he'll attempt to deflect the attack with wry, often sarcastic barbs in response. At worst, he'll deadset do his best to flee the situation without actually looking like he's running away.
Which leads us to his next flaw. Remus is brave, yes. Very much so, in fact, considering the way in which he's managed to retain his sweet nature despite his lycanthropy and all that is associated with it. Not to mention dealing with the people he's lost over the years, and the subsequent attacks on his self esteem. However, he also holds deep-seated feelings of shame to go along with all of the aforementioned, and when put all together, it creates a rather toxic mixture of emotion and fear of what might happen. It's made him overly cautious as a result over the years, and more often than not, he's missed out or faces missing out on something that could do well by him purely because he's too cowardly to own up and take a step into the unknown.
It's not all bad, though. Those are just the scars he's left to deal with, in the same way that he's had to stoically deal with his transformations month after month, year after year. As aforementioned, Remus is very tolerant, not to mention capable of diffusing situations amongst others, and as one might expect, he is ever considered the calm one of the group as a result. Which he is; he's the sort that will, lest he is particularly agitated, be the one you might go to to seek out a soothing word, if not a touch, or even just a dependable, understanding presence to calm one's own turmoil down with before stepping back into the rat race of life. Simply, Remus is the sort one would seek purely because he seems to know just what it is that you need from him, and he's usually more than happy to give it if it makes you happy.
Which leads to his other, perhaps greater traits. Though perhaps a little blind to his own well-being, towards others, Remus is quite perceptive, with an uncanny ability to guess the thoughts of those around him, and an instinct for sensing the current mood of a person or a situation. Not surprisingly, he is also quite intelligent, if not rating fairly high on the scale academically...not a small surprise at all, really, considering the amount of reading he likes to do, and the research that goes with it. Combine that with a quiet curiousity for what goes on around him and how it works, and you have that cultivated perceptiveness right there.
Of course, by this point, one might know Remus well enough to be fully aware of his kind heart. He is unfailingly generous, and if a little too polite at times, nothing if not very caring of those around him, if a little deluded towards what he himself needs. It's a shame, really, that he suffers the shame he does as a lycanthrope, and the fear of becoming as depraved as some of his 'kind' are. Because really, how could a man so thoroughly possessed of such a sweet nature ever come close to comparing to those who exhibit such cruelty? And that is exactly what Remus is, once you get to know him even more so...a man who is sweet, almost romantically so (and yes, he is a romantic, if anyone asks) and so utterly gentle that he could very well break one's heart just with one tender look, one wistful, sad little smile in their direction.
To go with the above is a loyalty that is steadfast. Remus' complete trust is, yes, a little difficult to earn, but once it's earnt, you'll be hard-pressed to find a more devoted ally, friend, and, perhaps, even a lover. You'll never be without protection at your back so long as he's with you, and you'd probably have to break his heart a million times before he'd cast you away in that respect, let alone foster an active hatred towards you. Of course, his natural reticience means he's a little antsy about displaying affection in any situation that isn't private, but once he's let alone with you, he'll very well not leave you alone lest you actually ask him to do so. Not surprisingly, really, considering how startled and delighted he is at the idea of people simply liking. Not that he's the kind to cling, though, or get in the way (well, he tries not to); he's simply the type that will happily sit beside you, sharing tea and conversation, or lean companiably and warmly into you, even if it's unconscious, while he reads whatever book he's got his nose in at the time.
And of course, one can't go past Remus without making some reference to his sense of humour. Remus was, after all a Marauder, and it would be a blasphemy of the worst sort to ignore his sense of humour. And Remus is, indeed, blessed with an excellent, if wicked sense of humour. He was perhaps the dryest of the Marauders in terms of humour, though he is definitely not without his playful streak. He tries not to be too proud of it, but he's also hard-pressed trying to hide a smirk if anyone ever accuses him of masterminding a prank, be it now or back in the days if his school-boyhood. Though these days, he's more likely to just enjoy watching a prank unfold rather than actively participate in it, and no doubt to the chagrin of those of an equally mischievous nature (such as a pair of identical red-heads), he likes to tease playfully and regularly that the days in which pranking was an art form and not a quick fix are long past.
